winnix winnix winnie-winnie-winnix.

waiting. 

nix had been waiting all his life. waiting for his teacher’s to understand he’s a tactile learner and that the the textbooks do nothing to help. waiting for his parents to understand that he doesn’t want to be a lawyer and he doesn’t want to marry the “nice girl from the nice family up the hill.” waiting until he turns eighteen so he can leave it all behind. but most of all he’s been waiting for his best friends to realize nix is in love with him.

he’s known richard winters for nearly a decade now and as he watched dick give the valedictorian speech to their college graduating class, smiling wide enough to break his jaw, nix wonders how in the world he’s been able to hide such a secret from him for so long. 

he’s heard this speech a hundred times, dick reading it at all hours of the night in their small two bedroom apartment off campus. so that fact that he’s not listening doesn’t seem so rude and to be fair, how in the world is he supposed to concentrate when dick is standing up there so proud and so goddamn happy? how can he listen to a word his best friend is saying when over the roaring of blood in his ears when dick made eye contact with him. 

he stared right back, looking at dick in a way that he was sure someone from a mile away would be able to see how he loved him. he and dick stare at one another until something changes in dick’s face that scares nix. he watches dick’s entire demeanor change and body language shift into coiled tension as he rushes through the rest of his speech.

there’s still a loud applause and standing ovation and after the crowd begins to clear, nix’s parents steal him away for pictures.

it’d been a long process to get them to accept his choice, but eventually his parents understood and accepted what he wanted for his own life. after he first introduce dick to his family, his mother had immediately stopped pressuring him to spend time with Amelia from up the hill and when he first started taking up photography, she stopped pressuring him into law school. mother’s intuition, he assumed because she always knew everything. and he assumed she knew how he felt before he ever did. there was only one argument between him and his father, a full blown argument about his future and his prospects and his father’s expectations being projected onto him. after a particularly harsh and backhanded comment about grandchildren, nix left and spent the night at harry’s. when he came back home, his father hugged him and immediately apologized. shocked nix look to his mom, one wink from her and he knew he would never be able to repay her for what she did. she save their family, their relationships, and his life, even if she didn’t realize it. 

so, when they hug him and make him take all the traditional pictures, nix tears up at the fact that they could have missed this, all of it, and he would’ve been alone. he turns to his mom and pulls her into a tight hug and remember the sweet jasmine scent that’s clung to her hair ever since her could remember. 

he can’t form words then, too overcome with nostalgia, love, and bitter possibilities of what could’ve been. 

he pulls back and the proud and loving look in her eyes is enough for a stray tear to fall.

she wipes it as easily as she smiles, “i know sweetheart.”

he sniffs and asks where they’re going to celebrate. 

“well why don’t we want for dick and his family and we can all go out together?” he dad suggests.

at the mention of his best friend, nix looks around the large crowds of happy graduates and their families for dick.

when his eyes finally find the familiar red hair, he smiles wide. 

he feels his father wrap his arm around his shoulder and is surprised when he hears him say, “you two are going to make fine husbands for each other, lew.”

lewis steps out of the embrace in shock and looks openly at his father. he dad, for all that he tried, was never so open about lewis’ sexuality or desires. it was a surprise to say the least to hear him discuss it so easily.

he hears a small laugh and looks back up to his dad.

“i know, lewis. we’ve never really talked about it, but that night you went to harry’s, i couldn’t sleep. so, i stayed up in your room all night waiting for you to come back and kicking myself for being the reason you felt you had to leave in the first place. your mother tearing me a new one certainly helped, but the moment that door slammed, i was afraid i’d never see you again. and i vowed to never be the reason you left again. you’re my only son, lewis. i love you no matter what.”

lewis couldn’t handle it all so he just hugged his dad and cried softly into his chest. there are certain things that only parents are capable of and making their children cry at the most unlikely of moments is one of them. 

a few moments later, nix pulled back and both of his parents wrapped their arms around him, “now lewis, you know we’ve never been ones to pry,” he mother started, “but if you don’t tell that boy how much and how long you’ve been head over heels for him, we will,” he father finished with a light laugh.

the three nixon’s stared at dick, but when the redhead turned to look, he only had eyes for lewis. 

eyes, that when they caught lewis’, went wide with something akin to shock, recognition, and fear all-in-one. 

nix didn’t notice it though, choosing instead to fiddle with his hands as he approached his best friend and his family. 

“hi mr. and mrs. winters, how are you?”

dick’s mom pulled him into a warm hug while his father gave nix a firm handshake and replied, “we’re just great lewis. how are you?”

nix smiled and looked at dick who was staring oddly at him before his turned to respond, “well i’m a graduate with tens of thousands in student loans, how do you think i am?”

dick’s parents laughed and nix joined in before saying, “you’ve got yourselves one hell of a kid here,” and threw his hand on dick’s shoulder.

he felt his best friend stiffen at the contact before slowly sliding out of the touch. nix’s arm falling heavily against his side felt like a bomb going off. dick never shied away from nix’s affections, as mild as they were, so it was a small shock to say the least.

“that we do, lewis. heck of kid. the both of you.” dick’s mother replied.

dick had yet to say anything at all so nix continued, “well, my parents and i were all going out to celebrate, we were wondering if you wanted to join us?”

“what a lovely idea,” dick’s mother started.

but dick interrupted, “but we already have plans.”

dick’s parents looked to him in confusion and he looked back, a silent conversation happening in a matter of seconds.

his father spoke up slowly, “oh…yes, sorry lewis. another time perhaps.”

“yeah,” lewis nodded slowly, “another time.”

dick’s mother pulls him into another hug, “it was good to see you lewis. take care.”

another handshake from dick’s father and lewis asked, “i’ll see you back at the apartment?”

he looked to dick but his best friend couldn’t seem to meet his eyes.

“uh yeah, later.”

and with that the winter’s were walking away and lewis felt like he’d missed and lost something, like a piece of himself was drifting away. 

his felt his parents and his side and his mother was rubbing his back like she used to do whenever he got hurt. 

he felt an inexplicable sadness takeover and held onto his parents’ hands.

his mother squeezed his hand gently, “everything will fall into place, sweetheart. you’ll see.”

nix sniffled, “i don’t think it will. let’s go.”

head held down on what should’ve been a happy day, lewis started the long walk back to their car. 

after an encouraging dinner with his parents, coupled with a few glasses of vat 69, nix waited for dick at the table in their kitchen beside the front door.

he, slightly, drunkenly decided that since their lease was up next month and neither had decided to renew it since they didn’t know what they were doing after graduation, that tonight would be the best night to confess his love to his best friend.

unfortunately, dick didn’t come home that night and by the next night he still hadn’t come back or returned any of nix’s calls or texts.

when the door slammed open at 3 a.m., nix bolted up from the couch he was napping on.

“jesus christ, dick, it’s the middle of the night.”

dick turned the kitchen light on and nix winced as his eyes adjusted. 

“sorry lew. i didn’t think you’d be here.”

and groggy as he was from sleep, that was the last straw for lewis who had been waiting two days to hear from his best friend. the fact that he didn’t want to see lewis hurt, but nix would be damned if dick wouldn’t tell him why. 

“what the hell is going on with you, dick? first you lie and don’t come out with my family even though it was clear your parents wanted to. which is fine, i know my parents can be a little out there sometimes. but then you don’t come home and you don’t answer any of my call or texts? what the hell, man?”

“nix, i-”

when dick didn’t continue, nix took in a shaky breath and said, “you what? dick, if you’re leaving you can just tell me. i mean i always thought i’d be the on-nevermind. just tell me what’s going on, dick. you’re best friend, please.”

he finished his short rant with a shaking plea, all the while staring at dick who still wouldn’t meet his eyes.

the silence and tension grew and grew until it was crushing enough to finally warrant a response from dick.

“do you…do you love me nix?” dick asked so quietly that nix wouldn’t have heard it had he not been waiting so long to hear dick’s voice.

he scoffed, the question both catching him off guard and being equally ridiculous because there’s no way that dick doesn’t know, “of course i do. you’re my best friend.”

dick finally looked up at nix and for the first time in three days, nix was finally able to look into his friends eyes. and what he saw, both scared and excited him. dick looked exhausted, like he hasn’t slept in days, but nix saw something in dick’s eyes that made his heart race. it was the same look that nix knew was on his face whenever he looked at dick. 

and now he saw that look shift into exasperation which was so familiar that it made nix smile.

dick wrang his hands together, “no i mean, do you..are you…”

his best friend trailed off again and nix was trying to give him time and space, not even moving closer when they started talking. but his heart was nearly about to burst from his chest and he’d been waiting two days to have this conversation. 

“am i what?” he whispered gently, slowly making his way to his best friend.

once he stopped in front of him, nix grabbed dick’s shaking hands with his own. 

dick raised his head, eyes, tired but still as electrifying as always, connected with nix’s own, as he asked softly, “are you in love with me?”

on any other day before this one, nix would’ve ran away and hid forever. instead, he reaffirmed his grip on dick’s hands and easily said, “yes.”

and just like that, an invisible weight, even he didn’t know existed, was lifted and he instantly felt like he could really breathe again. 

“i’m in love with you,” he laughed a little hysterically, “i’ve been in love with you since you walked into the wrong class freshman year of high school. god, i can’t believe this has taken so long. i mean you know i’m shit at keeping secrets. i can’t believe i managed to keep it.”

nix was panting slightly from the adrenaline.

then, dick started laughing and he didn’t stopped.

“dick, what is g-”

“you didn’t lew!” dick interrupted.

“i didn’t what?”

dick cleared the tears of laughter from his cheeks, “you didn’t keep it a secret. i’ve known since sophomore year when you couldn’t keep your eyes off me during gym.”

nix’s eyes widened, but he started laughing too, “it’s not my fault. you shouldn’t have been trying to impress tristy thompson for homecoming.”

dick pulled nix closer to him, and nix laughter died. 

“i wasn’t trying to impress tristy thompson, lewis. i was trying to impress you.”

nix swallowed heavily around the lump in his throat. he’d never seen the look in dick’s eyes before, the lust and pure desire swirling around in them made his heart race.

“well, it only took about ten years, but i’m certainly impressed richard winters.”

he watched dick’s eyes darken and unconsciously moved closer in between dick’s legs. 

dick swallowed heavily, “s-say it. please, nix. i’ve been waiting for you.”

nix could’ve cried, “i love you, richard winters. always have. you’re it for me.”

in an instant dick’s lips were on his and nix’s knew that no matter what happened, no matter where he went or what he did, so long as he was with dick, he would be complete and whole. 

panting, as he pulled away, he whispered, “it’s customary for you to say it back, un-unless you don’t which is…is fi-.”

dick’s lips cut him off again and when they parted once more he said, “i love you lewis. always. i want and need you. i don’t know who, what, or where i’d be if you weren’t in my life. please don’t ever make me find out.”

nix kissed him, tears finally flowing over from pure joy and happiness. 

“i’ll do my best. i’m yours.”

“care to make that official?”

nix looked at dick in confusion, “i’d rather keep kissing you than go on facebook right now, dick.”

dick reached into his pocket and pull out a small black box.

nix swears he died in that moment because he’s sure his heart stopped completely. 

“yes. you don’t even have to ask. the answer is yes.”

and then it clicked.

as dick’s shaky hands put the ring on his finger nix spoke, “dick winters, did you drive all the way to new jersey to ask for my hand in marriage?”

dick started laughing, “i did. remind me not to talking to your dad about our relationship. he talked to me for two hours, nix.”

nix started laughing and couldn’t stop, even when dick pulled him into another kiss.

“i can’t believe this is really happening. thirteen-year-old me is dying right now.”

“and twenty-three-year-old you?” dick asked.

“wants to kiss you again.” nix answered softly before doing just that.

they eventually pulled apart and held one another in the small kitchen of their apartment, neither man wanting or needing to pull away.

nix laughed against dick’s chest before asking, “hey dick?”

“yeah, lew?”

“wanna move in with me?”

dick looked down at nix and held his face in his warm hands.

“wherever you go, i’ll follow.”