song: ends of the earth - lord huron
au!: “you’ve been driving forever and you keep being an asshole every time i ask if you want me to take over and i’m about to grab the wheel and drive us into a ditch if you keep acting like this” treasure hunter!au
read below the cut or on AO3
oh, there’s a river that winds on forever…i’m gonna see where it leads
oh, there’s a mountain that no man has mounted..i’m gonna stand on the peak
out there’s a land that time don’t command…wanna be the first to arrive
no time for ponderin’ why I’m a-wanderin’…not while we’re both still alive
in their line of work, it wasn’t always easy getting from location to location. doesn’t mean it wasn’t fun.
they spent nearly a quarter of the year out on the open road, just the two of them in a car, windows down, and music blaring. exploring places no one has ever touched, ever seen. just him and bill taking on the world of professional treasure hunting. and it wasn’t the treasure that kept leckie in this line of work, it was bill. it was the the open road, knowing bill was always by his side, the fresh breeze and smell of gunpowder lingering on bill’s hair. it was bill. bill had so subtly and gradually worked himself into every aspect in leckie’s life to the point where he can’t remember his life without bill in it.
he loved him, in every meaning of the word. and bill didn’t know…couldn’t know or else he’d leave. and leckie know that bill doesn’t feel the same, knows that bill won’t ever feel the same. so he stays quiet and enjoys all of it while it lasts.
and for leckie, it was enough. to have bill by his side almost every day, grumpy or not, leckie would take it.
and it’s that thought that’s keeping him from shooting bill in the foot.
it’s nothing new, bill had always been sort of an asshole, but he’s always had a sweet spot for leckie…or so he thought.
but bill’s been like this since their last stint in the outskirts of wyoming. it was supposed to be a normal run, some small family trinket that they’d been hired to find. what they got, instead, was an absolute shitstorm. they’d just surfaced from their dig to find a group or mercenaries headed their way. leckie still doesn’t know how they made it out, but that could’ve been due to the fact that leckie had been shot twice - once in the shoulder and once in the leg - and was bleeding in the backseat as they hightailed it out of there.
bill patched him up in a cheap motel bathroom, leckie biting on bill’s belt while the other man pulled the slugs from his body with a focus and precision leckie had never seen before.
since then, bill’s been increasingly distant and it’s starting to get on leckie’s last nerves.
mostly because he hasn’t been behind the wheel since they left sacramento and he’s getting sick of watching the neverending nevada desert.
it’s been forty-five minutes since he last asked to take over and bill hasn’t said a word since.
leckie was surprised he had any hair left from how long he’d been pulling on it.
he takes a deep breath before asking, “want me to take over for a bit?”
bill levels leckie with a look that say ‘fuck no.’
and that’s it. leckie could’ve handled a simple “no,” or “not yet” anything other than silence.
before he can think, he mouth moves.
“pull over.”
and that, that, finally gets a reaction.
“what?”
“pull the goddamn car over hoosier.”
“why?”
“why? because i said so! pull over before i grab the wheel and do it myself.”
bill sighs but half a mile later pulls over on a large patch of desert.
leckie is out of the car before it’s in park.
oh, there’s an island where all things are silent…i’m gonna whistle a tune
oh, there’s a desert that size can’t be measured…i’m gonna count all the dunes
out there’s a world that calls for me…headin’ out into the unknown
wayfarin’ strangers and all kinds of danger…please don’t say i’m going alone
the past month bill has been thinking nonstop.
thinking of his life, his experiences, his past, present, and future.
but most of all, he’s been thinking of leckie.
of their relationship, their journey together, their triumphs and setback.
of leckie being shot…his blood…and then bill gets so angry again that he has take a break from thinking.
he spends a lot of time inside his own head and this last month has been hell.
the only reason leckie was shot was because bill had said they didn’t need a motion sensor perimeter. he had said, “no one know we’re here anyway.”
but they did and the mercenaries weren’t after the treasure, they were after bill. assholes with a grudge from the days before bill and leckie met.
and bill had made it out unscathed while leckie bled in the backseat and made jokes.
and bill’s been cursing himself ever since. he was never one to wallow in self-pity. shit happened and you moved on. that was how he lived his life.
but that all changed when leckie got shot.
the thought him not seeing leckie ever morning when he woke up or hearing the man explain entire histories behind a singular item they found on some random dig or smelling the sweat and musk coming from the man in the cab of the car after a long dig…no longer having any of that would’ve killed bill.
and god that realization was a lot for bill to take in because never in a million years did he plan to feel like this.
never did he plan to fall for leckie and never did he imagine that he it would be this difficult to tell him.
bill didn’t do anything half-assed and he was genuinely straightforward with everyone.
but everytime he came close to telling leckie, his best friend, something stopped him.
he didn’t want to lose this. he couldn’t imagine this job without leckie, his life without the man by his side.
and he knows he’s ruining it all. knows that the way he’s acting is going to lose leckie faster than his declaration would, but he can’t help it. every time he goes to even start the a conversation, leckie will look at him like he’s looking right through him and bill can’t breathe. and then everything comes back to him and it takes him hours to shake the image of leckie’s skin covered in blood. then he gets angry all over again and can’t speak or barely look at leckie because all he sees is blood and pain and leckie eye’s closing and never opening again.
so when leckie demands he pull over, bill isn’t really surprised.
what does surprise him is that fact that leckie is already out of the car and walking toward the desert before he can even put the car in park.
i was a-ready to die for you, baby…doesn’t mean i’m ready to stay
what good is livin’ the life you’ve been given…if all you do is stand in one place
i’m on a river that winds on forever…follow ‘til i get where i’m goin’
maybe I’m headin’ to die but I’m still gonna try…i guess i’m goin’ alone
leckie is nearly a quarter of a mile away, talking to himself, before he realize bill has been talking to him.
“damn it leck, i’ve been callin’ your name for the past five minutes, what the hell is going on?”
leckie stops and turns around quickly, speaking quickly before he loses his nerve.
he’s staring intensely at bill when he asks, “do you want to leave? is that it? because other than that, i can’t think of any other reason why you’ve been acting like such a goddamn asshole all the time bill. i mean i thought we were good, you know? i like you and we’re good…together. and i just…” he trails off.
bill is looking at him like he’s never seen him before and leckie knows he’s so close to sharing too much, letting too much out. but he’s already gone this far and he can’t get back into that car without bill knowing. he knew that if he asked bill to let it go, just forget it, the other man would, no questions asked. he knew he could get out of it. but he also knew that if he did, it would be the end. they would continue drifting apart until he couldn’t stand it anymore. and he was so tired of bill not knowing or being prisoner to his own emotions. so he set himself free.
“fuck!”
bill speaks up, voice hoarse and a bit strangled like he’s struggling with the same thing leckie is. it would’ve made leckie laugh but he was trying to breathe.
“leck, wha-,” he cleared his throat and swallowed heavily, “what are you trying to say?”
leckie know what he means, it’s a final out, a final chance to call it off, but when he looks to see bill looking at him with concern and hands outstretched like he wants to touch and console leckie but isn’t sure if he can, leckie knows. he just knows that know is the time to do this.
“i’m trying to tell you that…” He trails off again.
“that?” bill asks desperately, taking another step closer to lecki.
“that i am-”
“you’re what?” bill interrupts.
“i’m trying to tell you i’m in love with you for fuck’s sake stop interrupting me.”
and then leckie catches himself and slowly closes his eyes as he realizes what he’s said.
“you…” bill whispers.
and leckie opens his eyes gently to find bill looking at him like he hung the goddamn moon and for once, he lets his hopes rise.
“yeah…i do. and i’m about to have a fucking heart attack so it would be really nice if you could say something…anything. bill, please.”
bill is quiet for a long time before he utters two words that completely destroy leckie.
“i can’t.”
and that was it, from now on leckie would go it alone.
to the ends of the earth would you follow me?
there’s a world that was meant for our eyes to see
to the ends of the earth would you follow me?
well if you want, i will say my goodbyes to me
bill doesn’t know why he said it the way that he did, but if he’s honest with himself, he was completely in shock. he could lock onto single thought, let alone form any kind of coherent sentence.
but by the time he realizes what he’s said, leckie is halfway back to the car.
“shit,” he sighs.
“leck! wait up!”
he runs as fast as he can and all too soon he’s in leckie’s face and all he sees is complete and total devastation and god bill hates that he’s the reason it’s there.
it gets even worse when leckie speaks, sounding as if he’s seconds away from completely falling apart.
“b-bill please don’t sa-just don’t. please.”
leckie tries to push him out of the way but bill stops him.
he grabs leckie’s hands and holds them to his chest.
“leck i need you to look at me.” bill pleads but leckie just shakes his head no.
“fine then i’ll hold if over your head until the day we die that you refused to look me in the eye the first time i told you that i loved you.”
leckie’s head shoots up in surprise and his eyes are filled with raw pleading; begging bill to be telling the truth.
“christ, leck. since you got shot, i…i haven’t been the same. i constantly find myself looking over to you to make sure you’re still there, still real and alive. to remind myself that you did bleed out in a goddamn motel bathroom because…because of me. goddamn leckie, i love you so much that i can’t even understand it half the time. you’re my world, leck. and i just want to travel the world with you and find treasure with you. and listen to you go on and on about the history shit i don’t really care about but i care about you so i listen to every word. and fall asleep and wake up next to you every day like we have been for the past three years. what i meant to say was i can’t believe you love me back. i can’t believe that you’re willing to be with me. just for the love of god, please don’t be joking.”
leckie is quiet for a long time, tears falling on bill’s hand as he held leckie’s head gently.
“why is it you always find a way to upstage me?”
bill laughs and leckie follows.
leckie put his hands over bill’s.
“i’m not joking bill. i love you bill. i love you and i hold nothing about what happened in wyoming against you. shit happens. i want you…in every way you want me. i’m yours.”
so, in the middle of the desert, a long stretch of abandoned highway, leckie kissed bill for the first time. and in that kiss he knew that they were perfect for one another. they fit perfectly together, like they always had.
like they always would.
