song: don’t take the money - bleachers
au!: “one of us dares the other to see a fortune teller and they tell us that we are ‘destined lovers’ - and that we will soon be brought together by the powers of fate. and though we both secretly want it to be true we laugh it off and don’t believe it but it’s been three weeks and all of this weird stuff keeps happening and i stg if we’re locked in ANOTHER small closet together i’m going to lose it and tell you everything” au
read below the cut or on AO3
somebody broke me once…love was a currency…a shimmering balance act…i think that i laughed at that
as they walked in another circle around the shop stalls set up in the renaissance fair, maurice couldn’t help but feel like he was floating. fred had finally come back from his three week long business trip and it was a gorgeous sunny day and the smell of jasmine permeating the air in a thick wave.
and as maurice watched his best friend admire the shimmering crystal jewelry glistening in the sun, he couldn’t help but sigh in adoration. fred was smile brightly and talking to the artisan about her technique. maurice always found it so endearing that fred could strike up conversation with anyone about anything. he’s had his fair share of jealousy trips watching fred talk animatedly with people other than him.
“oh,” he heard the young girl called, “sorry, does your boyfriend want to take a look as well?”
fred spits his water out and onto some of the jewelry while maurice laughs and explains that they aren’t together.
the girl narrows her eyes in confusion and tells them that it isn’t funny to lie to people.
and the real kicker is that both men wanted it to be nothing more than true.
before either man can get another word in, she walks behind her curtain and is replaced by her gruff brother demanding that they visit bedisa before they leave.
the two just look at him in confusion before he points to a small tent on the other side of the shops with two words painted on a small sign, ‘fortune teller.’
normally, they wouldn’t bother, wouldn’t even take stock in being told what to do by strangers. but something about that day, perhaps the warmth of the sun or the odd lightness felt by both men, or the comfort of one another’s presence, has them blindly walking towards the tent.
before they enter, fred pulls maurice back gently by his wrist. and maurice really is too far gone on his best friend because the contact is enough to make his cheeks flush and heart race.
“which one of us should get it done?” fred is so close that maurice nearly goes cross-eyed trying to look up at him.
“doesn’t matter to me, neither of us believe in it.” maurice shrugs and pats himself on the back for how steady his voice is. god, three weeks away from fred and he’s on edge the moment he even thinks about his best friend
absence really does make the heart grow fonder.
“rock, paper, scissors?”
maurice smiles wide and sees a flicker of something he doesn’t recognize flash through fred’s eyes, “after all this time, you still think you can win?”
fred smiles back, “anything is possible, my dear maurice.”
maurice swallows harshly at the endearment and places his hands on one another.
four seconds later and he walks triumphantly into the tent with a grumbling fred behind him.
when they walk in they see a short, middle-aged woman with slightly long acrylic nails and bright red hair.
they look at one another in surprise while the woman types away at her phone.
“have a seat please, couples are thirty-five dollars.”
they start laughing, but both men sit down gently in front of her.
“we’re not a couple,” fred said firmly and maurice can’t be blamed if the tone makes him want to curl up and cry.
“not yet at least,” she replies just as firmly and finally looks up at the two of them.
before they could question her, she asks, “so who goes first?”
maurice smiles, shaking off the pain in his heart, and points to fred. “just him.”
she smiles back at him and he sees something in her eyes that cuts him to his cores, like she knows the hurt and suffering he’s experienced at the cards he’s been dealt. he looks away quickly while she grabs fred’s hands quickly.
she moves them around and follows the lines and curves of fred’s hands and maurice bites back the jealousy once again, a professional at it by now, and watches.
she laughs loudly after seven or so minutes of studying, “oh my, you two have been ignoring fate for too long. she’s pissed.”
fred leans forwards and maurice follows suit.
“what’s that mean?” fred asks, joking tone evident in his question.
she looks between them, mischievous smile etched on her mouth, “it mean, dear, that you two are what we call ‘destined lovers,’ and have been for a very long time.”
maurice swallowed harshly, ignoring the fact that he knew fred was looking intensely at him as he started to sweat in the small tent.
bedisa continues, ignoring the heart attack maurice is having, “true loves in all lives: past, present, and future. a delicate balancing act of friendship and romance all within one relationship.”
maurice laughed harshly, trying to make it sound genuine in his amusement, but failing.
bedisa ignores him holds on tightly to fred’s hand, “as i said, fate is pissed because you two have been taking too long and soon the powers that be will bring you two together. do not fight it or it will only make things worse.”
maurice can feel fred next to him, every inch of his body connect with the other man from where they sit practically on top of one another in the small tent. he can feel the beat of the other man’s heart sync with his own. he can feel the easy breaths and watches as fred smiles in disbelief.
“given what you two will experience soon, i’ll wave my fee.” bedisa smiled warmly at the two of them and walked away to the back of the tent laughing loudly.
it’s a long while before either of them moves or speaks.
“well that was complete and utter bullshit.” fred jokes, clapping maurice on the back and slamming him out from his thoughts.
he laughs weakly and nods his head.
fred claps his hands together and stands up while maurice tries to remind himself that fred doesn’t and won’t ever feel the same way he does.
“come on then dease, i hear an elephant ear call our names.”
fred leaves the tent and maurice spends a moment once again burying his feelings before bracing himself to go back into the world.
and i saw your face and hands…colored in sun and then…i think i understand…will i understand?
fred can still remember the day he knew he was in love with maurice.
nineteen years old and watching across the table as maurice awkwardly tried to talk to christine mclaren, while janice klein sat beside him.
they were having a double date at the restaurant on the pier after spending the day swimming.
they were all sun-drunk and relaxed and though janice klein was the dream girl of everyone in their class, fred had been watching maurice, and maurice-only, all day. there was something about his best friend, today of all days, that had made fred stare relentlessly.
he would turn his head back and forth, watching as the sun hit maurice’s slightly tanned body at different angles.
mostly he watched maurice’s hands as they lay by the side of his head, napping in the bright afternoon sun.
the girls had went to get ice cream down the shoreline so it was just the two of them.
and fred had come to terms with his sexuality a long while before that day, but something about it being maurice that he fancied made him feel like he was sixteen all over again.
still staring at the sun-kissed skin of best friend, fred goes over every memory he has of maurice since fred moved to town five years prior. and every memory is now laced with a sweet satisfaction in knowing that fred has loved maurice in one way or another since they met.
and fred knew he had do something, say something, there was no way he could live without maurice knowing, or being able to hold maurice’s face in his hands at least once before he died.
he leans forward, hands working of his own accord, and when his hands reach maurice’s warm chest and just barely connect with the skin, he’s electrified. every nerve ending alight with a bright warmth that consumes him.
he notices maurice’s breathing hitch, knows he’s awake and just as he thinks he sees maurice’s hand reaching for his own, the girls crash down on them and hand them their ice cream.
after that, the spell breaks and fred gets too inside his own head and makes a vow that unless maurice does something, fred isn’t going to ruin their friendship. not for anything short of divine intervention.
so years go by and fred realizes that he made the right choice. even though it hurts sometimes to see maurice go on dates or flirt with someone else, he would rather have maurice in his life and watch him with someone else, than no have him at all.
which is why when the fortune teller says what she does, fred tries his hardest to play it all off as a joke and not look at maurice at all because if he doesn’t, everything else could come back to the surface, stronger than before, and ruin the only thing, the only person, that matters to him.
and once he’s out of the tent and into that same sun that had shone so brightly on maurice that day at the beach, he feels like he can breathe again.
maurice joins him a few minutes later and is happily pulling fred towards the food stands.
and as they share a large elephant ear in the shape of a heart - the worker had said ‘the dough shapes itself’- , fred thinks that it’s enough, that he could happily live out his years so long as maurice was a part of his life.
will we fight, stay up late?…in my dreams i’m to blame…different sides of the bed…roll your eyes, shave my head
two weeks later and maurice thinks that maybe there was actually something to what bedisa told them.
for example, they’ve been consistently mistaken as a couple and, while not necessarily new, it been increasing in frequency. fred somehow caught the bouquet at their friends wedding and since the two of them showed up together people assumed they were together. maurice started taking shots and fred disappeared after that. they were cutting through the park to get to a movie and street band pulled them both on stage and sang two love song to them before fred ran off stage. the movie theater was packed and the two of them were forced to sit closer than normal because the people beside them demanded more space than necessary. maurice couldn’t tell anyone what the movie was about because the only thing he remembers of that night is the smell and feel of fred plastered to his side. he only wished it happened of their own accord. then, two nights later, their favorite pub had a random karaoke night and all anyone wanted to sing were love songs. after the second rendition of stand by your man, maurice was ready to crawl out of his skin.
so now, two weeks after the fair and the fortune teller, maurice was starting to lose his mind.
fred just rolls his eyes and says that he thinks that is some sort of psychological play because anyone can tell that they’re close friends and people like to play jokes. he always shrugs like it’s nothing. like he doesn’t see what everyone else sees.
maurice wishes fred would stop doing that because it breaks him more and more every time.
he was hoping that maybe, even if the whole fate thing was a joke, this was a sign, an opening, to be able to tell fred what he couldn’t tell him that day on the beach. tell him that he knew, he knows, has known since before that day that he loves fred more than anyone else in the world. and that he can’t ever love anyone else like he does his best friend. fred is it.
but fred keeps laughing and saying that it’s all coincidence, but seeing as how they’ve never been locked in an elevator together every before, maurice thinks bedisa’s word might hold some weight. and for the first time, in a long time, he hopes. hopes that he’s right and that this will eventually lead to them being together. hopes that fred loves him in the same way he loves fred. hopes that this won’t destroy them.
but his mother always told him that getting your hopes up was never good because that meant they always had somewhere to fall. and he should’ve listened because two days after the elevator comes “the fight.”
the beginning of the end.
now we’re stuck in the storm…we were born to ignore…and all i got is a chance to just sit…(i’m in love and you’ve got me, runaway)
it had been a long day of work and maurice hadn’t talked to fred all day and was hoping for a moment of reprieve, but as fate would have it, and damn it if he didn’t hate that phrase, he remembered they had a concert to go to tonight.
he would’ve passed, faking a migraine and trying to spend the night taming his emotions, but they bought the tickets months in advance. and fred sounded so excited when he called to remind him that maurice would’ve never have had the heart to turn him away.
though he wishes he would. as he sits on stage and is serenaded by the lead singer of one of their favorite bands, maurice wishes he would’ve stayed home.
he smiles as the singer continues on touching and pulling and carressing him in a playful manner, almost laughing at the absurdity of the situation and look to fred for confirmation in the way their lives have been lately. only when he locks eyes with fred, he doesn’t see mirth or joy, he sees anger and resentment and, he dares to say, jealousy. and maurice knew he had gotten his hopes up for nothing.
he knew how much this band meant to fred and for him to be pulled up instead and serenaded by the lead singer that fred practically idolized, it was enough to wipe the smile off maurice’s face because if fred wanted this then he didn’t want maurice. and if he didn’t want maurice then bedisa was wrong and everything that’s happened was coincidence. and as maurice slowly climbed off stage he felt his world come crashing down. he walks to the back where the bar is, noticing that fred doesn’t follow, and sits down heavily.
he orders a beer, for lack of anything better to do and because the bartender won’t leave him alone, and watches fred through the rest of the show. he just sits and watches his best friend and the man his loves more than anything grind against the others around him.
he leaves when he can’t stand it anymore. running up the stairs and out into the cold night air. lungs begging for oxygen as the tears start to form.
god he was so fucking stupid to think that, after all these years, anything would happen.
“so fucking stupid,” he murmurs against the brick wall.
he jumps when the door beside him slams open. and there pops fred, unwanted, back into his vision.
“hey why’d you leave?”
and maurice was so tired. so fucking tired of it all. of fortune tellers and fate. of this night and the past weeks. of loving someone who will never love him back. most of all, he was tired of fred steele, his best friend, being absolute fucking clueless to the living hell that maurice has been in.
“because i couldn’t…” maurice trails off unsure as to whether or not he’s prepared for this. and then he steels himself, and tries not laugh at the connection, because maurice knows he can’t continue on like this. if he loses fred to this, then it’s worth. it’s killing maurice faster having to hide it all than if he were to lose fred. and if he does lose him, then fred isn’t the man maurice thinks he is. and it’ll all be better in the end.
at least that what he tells himself.
and fred, fuck, fred looks so worried and earnest that it break maurice’s heart a little more to have to do this, but he’s so far beyond breaking point that he’s surprised he’s even functioning.
“you couldn’t what? maurice?”
and at his name maurice looks up, tears flowing freely by now, and when his eyes meet fred’s, he breaks.
“i couldn’t watch you with those people anymore. i couldn’t watch as they kissed your neck because i wanted to. i couldn’t watch as you held them close because i’ve spent so many night longing to be held in your arms. i couldn’t watch to you flirt with them the way you never do with me. i just can’t do it anymore, fred.”
fred is staring him, not moving, not saying anything. just staring, the same way he did that day on the beach. and god dammit if maurice can’t feel fred’s hand warm on his chest again, reaching for fred…always reaching.
maurice wipes the tears staining his face harshly and clicks his tongue, cursing everything that has ruined this moment and forced him to reveal his deepest secret to the one man he could never tell.
he looks back into fred’s eyes and states plainly, “i’m in love with you, steele. have been pretty much since the day i met you. and i know you don’t feel the same way. i know that this will pretty much ruin our friendship because there’s no way i can live a life where i’m not the one you fall asleep and wake up next to. but i can’t continue on like this. it’s been killing me all these years and i’m so tired.”
he drops his hands heavily at his sides and shrugs, “you’ve got me, fred. in every possible way, i’m yours.”
maurice sighs, feeling simultaneously relieved and worried that he’s just made the biggest mistake of his life. but he can’t take it back and he just watches as fred stares at him. watches as his best friend’s eye flashes with emotions so fast that he can’t keep up.
he can’t keep looking and the fact that fred has done nothing, said nothing, make maurice cave in on himself and walk away.
so it’s over. god maurice wishes he could feel anything other than the numbness consuming he body at the loss of the only thing he held dear in his life.
he’s halfway down the block when he hears footsteps rushing towards him.
he’s about to tell fred not to even bother when his suddening stop causes fred, who was running, to crash into him.
they’re both on the ground before they can realize what happened.
and when maurice feels a droplet of water hit his face, he opens his eyes slowly.
above him, fred is crying and the brightest smile is plastered on his face.
“sorry mate, but i was hoping to one day sweep you off your feet. seems i already have.”
and maurice, cursing at the pain in his pain from the fall and fred’s ability to make him laugh no matter what, burst into a laughing smile.
then the words catch up to him, “you mean…” he exclaims in shock,
fred nods and places his hand gently on either side of maurice’s face, finally fulfilling that promise he made to himself all those years ago.
“since that day at the beach.”
after a long moment of just looking at one another in the brand new light of love, mutual and undying love, they both move.
and when their lips meet in the middle, it’s a unhurried and gentle first kiss.
the first of so many throughout the rest of their lives.
you steal the air out of my lungs, you make me feel it…i pray for everything we lost, buy back the secrets…your hand forever’s all i want
six months later
“do you wish this would’ve happened sooner?” maurice asks, head against fred’s naked chest, in the soft morning light of another lazy sunday in their apartment.
he feels fred shake his head, “i think it happened when it was supposed to happen, but i do think of everything we might’ve lost to time.”
maurice sighs, a little melancholy at the wasted time, but then shrugs, “can’t very well miss what never happened though, right? can’t want what you don’t don’t know you want, that it?”
fred pulls maurice to him and kisses him gently. he looks to maurice, serious and nervous.
he places his hands gently on either side of maurice’ face, the same way he did six months ago.
“i want nothing more than to hold you hand for the rest of my life.”
maurice gasps, “the rest of…are you saying what i think you’re saying?”
fred smiles, “i think we’ve wasted enough time beating around the proverbial bush, maurice. it’s you. it’s always been you and it will always be you. past, present, future.”
maurice smiles and rubs against the embrace in fred’s hands, “past, present, future.”
